-Let’s get to the news. President Trump today tried to
downplay his offensive attacks on minority congresswomen,
tweeting, “I don’t have
a racist bone in my body.” Well, based on this photo,
I have to ask — [ Laughter ] Do you have any bones
in your body? [ Laughter and applause ] In a new interview,
former Vice President Joe Biden said he would challenge
President Trump to do push-ups if Trump criticized his age
or mental state during a debate. Just a heads-up — if someone
criticizes your mental state and your response is
to do push-ups — [ Laughter ] It’s not a great argument
in favor of your mental state. [ Laughter and applause ] In a new —
[ Cheers and applause ] In a new interview,
Senator Bernie Sanders jokingly challenged President Trump
to a one-mile run. In other words —
a suicide pact. [ Laughter and applause ] “I know how to end this.
Remember me!” [ Laughter ] President Trump said today
that his administration will investigate whether Google has been working with
the Chinese government. Then, again, they only know
one way to investigate it. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Eric Trump’s wife, Lara, today launched a new Women for Trump
re-election initiative at an event in Pennsylvania, while Eric launched one called
Sons Who’d Love to Meet Trump. [ Laughter ] Made his own sign
and everything. [ Laughter ] The White House yesterday
hung four photos featuring President Trump and
North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, while Kim Jong-un hung
four of his family members. [ Audience ohs ] Yeah. You get his picture
up on the wall. [ Laughter ] Representative Alexandria
Ocasio-Cortez yesterday responded to President Trump’s
racist attacks on her and three other
congresswomen, calling Trump’s words the “hallmark language
of white supremacists.” Said Hallmark, “In retrospect, we never should have added
that section.” [ Laughter ] A bunch of grapes were recently sold for $11,000
at a Japanese auction. Also at Whole Foods. [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] Pottery Barn has announced
it will be releasing a furniture line inspired by
the sitcom “Friends,” like this doormat. [ Laughter ] According to a new study, Boston has the least affordable
housing of any American city. Said people from Boston, “That’s
why I live in your motha.” [ Laughter ] Save a few bucks.
Live in your motha. [ Laughter ] And finally, a Georgia woman
who requested a birthday cake inspired by
the Disney film “Moana” instead received a cake
themed after marijuana. [ Laughter and applause ] Meanwhile, Willie Nelson’s
birthday party got weird. [ Laughter ]