*Intro Music* *Punching sound* Matt: *Far away from the microphone
Yes! *High Pitch Unision* HELLO WE’RE THE NOSTALGIA CRITICS! *regular voices* Ryan: And we’re playin’
Nerf N-Strike! ‘Ryan:Cause uh…Matt love droppin
the ‘N’ word 😉 Matt: No, I don’t, Ryan, you-
you gotta stop sayin that Matt:’Cause that’s not true Ryan: Is that damning to your
character? Matt: uh-yeah!
I think that’s damning to anybody*chuckle* Ryan: Keem seems to be
doin’ fine. *Matt giggles* Ryan:…woah Matt:There’re my boys Hasbro Ryan: Aren’t they for babies? Matt: heh-No. Ryan:*giggles* Ryan: Hasbro- ok. Matt:Alright.
Ryan:Oh sh*t!*laughing* Matt: Woah!
Ryan: Oh God!*laughing* Ryan: This is intense, Matt*still laughing* Matt: I was not expecting that! Ryan: Ho-oly shit, ok so I’m just gonna… Ryan: What should our cool… Ryan:Nerf codename be? Matt: Nerf.
Ryan: It’s Nerf or nothin’. Ryan:Let’s just do mission mode, and then w-
Matt:Let’s do mission mode, yeah Ryan: we-we’ll try all the other sh*t Ryan:Aww could we look up cheat-codes? Matt:uh, well there’s a section
called codes, so I’m assuming- Ryan: This might be…
a fantastic experience Matt:I’m-I’m gettin ready, I’m
preparing myself. Ryan:w-what kind-
Matt:W-whats the mission? Matt: It just threw us in Ryan: I don’t know -can I change my weapon? Both boys: No. Ryan: What am I doin when I flick my…
flick of the wrist sh*t Matt: Get ’em Ryan, get ’em! Ryan: I’m gettin’ ’em! Ryan: Yeah!! Oh my god look
at all those points. Matt: So what’s the story here,
are these like uh… Matt: Is this like some evil…..federation force?
Ryan: Well I was abducted by uh aliens Ryan:’Cause I was tryin’ to figure out
what was goin’ on Matt: While you were playin with your
Nerf Gun you got abducted by aliens Matt: So now it’s your only weapon Matt:But little did you know.. that’s the
aliens one weakness Matt:Nerf darts. Ryan: They need to keep open so I can
hit their little weak spot Matt: It’s like an arcade game Ryan: I really like this!
this isn’t that bad! Matt: Alright- oh geez!
Ryan: Oh god! Ryan: Come’ ere (come here)…ok sweet Ryan: I need to aim for their
stupid heads. Ryan: AHH!
Matt:whoa WHOA! Matt: Scared me there! Matt: Oh sh*t!
Ryan: Woah woah woah woah! Matt: It’s like can openers Ryan: God, is this dead space? Matt: This is crazy. Ryan:*laughing* This is incredible, Matt! Matt: What a game!
Ryan:*still laughing* W-what is this?! Matt: I thought, I thought- Matt:Ryan came to me this morning and
he’s like, “Hey.” Matt:”Let’s play the Nerf Game today …for
SuperMega” Matt:And I was like “Alright, why not.” Matt:I figured it would be like you play
as a kid in a backyard Matt:And you’re shootin’ at your friends
not some like…interstellar…adventure
Ryan:*laughing* Matt: Where you’re shooting alien robots Ryan: It would’ve been better if they used
like a PNG image of a hand *giggles* Ryan:like gone to google-
Matt: The gun was just a PNG image Ryan: *Giggle* Yeah Matt: Yeah Ryan’s not walkin around,
its doin’ it for him. Matt: Your shield! you have a shield though… Ryan: I do, but it’s almost out because that
one dude exploded. Matt: So this game actually has like a gun, like a
Nerf gun that you put the Wii remote in, Matt:But we couldn’t find it
So, unfortunately- Ryan:Well we didn’t look. Matt:…Well that, yeah that’s part of it,
so we don’t have the full experience but uh Matt:We have almost the full experience Ryan: Is like mission mode- Matt: Woah woah woah!
Ryan: Woah! How do I aim?! Matt: Oh shoot!
Ryan: WOOH! Matt: Wow dude, its Nerf or nothin’ right now.
Ryan:*giggles* Ryan: Oh sh*t!
Matt: Woah, woah, woah woah WOAH
WOAH WOAH WOAH Ryan: OOh, woah.
Matt: That was close. Ryan: Woah
Matt: What is that?! Ryan: Its a light-Oh DAMN!
Matt:Whoa! Ryan: I’m goin’ all terminator on
these f*ckers Matt: That’s awesome, they’re hittin’
you though. Matt: I actually, I really like real shooters
I wish there were more popular real shooters. Matt: What’s your favorite real shooter, Ryan? Ryan: Uh, this one right now.
*more giggles* Ryan: this is incre-this is awesome Matt: This would be really fun in an
arcade Ryan: Oh sh*t. Ryan:Aww…
Matt: oh no…aww, you’re out of credits! Ryan: Game over…
Matt: Insert coin! Hold on lemme get a
Quarter out of my- oh we got a coin right here! Ryan:Oh. Ryan: What? Ryan: Huh? *Laughter* Ryan: Ok, they put work into this! Ryan:that’s just-
that’s stylistic! Ryan:Was I supposed to lose that
first.. Matt: Probably?… You probably play it until
you die and then this happens. Matt:Oooh sh*t. Matt:We got the NSA in here. Matt:The Nerf…Security…Association. Ryan: Are they mad that we didn’t beat
the game? Matt:*Voicing the NSA* Those f*ckers. Matt: No, they’re just mad
that you played the game Ryan: And didn’t insert another coin. Matt:Yeah
Ryan:the f*ck is going
on?! Matt: Am I supposed to just like- I gotta coin
in my hand am I supposed to go
stick it in the Wii? Matt:Oh he’s got a box of tissues
by his bed. Ryan: Ooh you, you know what that means.
Matt: You know why he’s got those. Ryan: He ain’t got no cold. Ryan: Woah! He was ready! Matt: This is epic, dude! Ryan: This is every kid’s dream
with a Nerf gun Matt: I know.
Ryan: *Narrator voice* Defend the world with
your cool selection of Nerf items! *Matt giggles* Ryan: *Still Narrating* Your parents
money is well spent, Ryan:Because one day you will be
called apon to save the world Matt: When you lose the.. (there’s) just
a little screen that’s like Matt:”Get your parents to buy you
a nerf gun, today!” Matt:There’s actually a Nerf gun around
the office Ryan: Yeah.
Matt: Nerf guns are really fun. Matt:I’m, you know I’m 20 years old
but I won’t-I-I’m not ashamed to admit Matt:I f*cking love playing with Nerf guns Ryan: I wanna go buy some really
cool f*ckin Nerf guns Matt:Dude!
Ryan:I like water guns too!
I think water gun fights are really f*cking cool Matt: Oh yeah, same but we can’t play
with those in our apartment what if.. Matt:You know, we gotta go to Target
tonight after we record this to get Matt:cleaning supplies for our apartment so why
don’t we get Nerf gun stuff while we’re there? Ryan: Sounds good to me!
Matt: We could get apartment Nerf guns! Ryan: Yes! Matt: Shoot our pets with them and watch
them run and freak out.
Ryan:*giggling* Ryan: I really underestemated this game. Matt: yeah I-I thought-I did not know it was going
to be this in-depth dude Matt:I think that we’re kind’ve uh… Ryan: We’re in over our heads? Matt: Yeah, we’re putting our feet
into some uh…some deeper water. Ryan: Oh sh*t… Matt: Aww…that was Epic! Ryan: Is this just a commercial
for the products? Ryan:Like is there more story Matt: That was the only gameplay
the rest is just this. Ryan: Wait is this what would be playing
on an Arcade machine… Matt: Just like waiting for someone
to play? Ryan:Yeah
Matt:It’s like “Insert Coin Now”
the little like…demo screen it shows? Matt:Oh, ok now we’re goin for real Matt:Aw geez… Ryan: Wait is this the same thing? Matt: Woah Ryan… Ryan: Where am I? Both boys: Standoff, ooh! Matt: Standoff!
Ryan: Let’s do standoff. Matt: Good ol’ fashion…western
Ryan: F*ck! Matt: Nerf gun standoff Ryan: Oh, I have to hit it! Boys: *In wonder*
OOOOOHHH Matt: This game kicks ass!
Ryan: What the f*ck this is- Matt: I had that one, that one right there!
Ryan: This one? Matt: Yeah, I used to have that one!
I traded it to a friend for a different one though Ryan: This is…this is a badass game! Let’s kick some ass! Matt: So, only the red ones
Ryan. Ryan: Dude, this kicks ass!
(So we heard.) Matt: It’s not bad, like…
this game is sick! Ryan: Aw f*ck…there we go.
Matt: Ryan look at you go, man! Ryan: Yellow ones…
Matt: Now you gotta get the yellow ones Ryan: Yeah, Yellow is the color that
your eyes see first, right Matt: I think so, I think that’s why school bus’s are yellow.
Ryan: Over red, and then…wait what am I? Oh. Matt: That’s why school-bus’s and taxi’s are yellow
Ryan: Blast the yellow robots. Matt: Blast those…those…
mother f*ckers. Ryan: Oh, I can hold it down…
I don’t think I have ammo. Matt: You do have ammo, you just have
to press A to reload, you have 2 bullets left. Got one left, Ryan. Reload. Ryan: No, I can get it with this last bullet.
Matt: You don’t have anymore bullets. *Gun clicks empty*
You’re out of bullets, I just said that!
*Ryan giggles* Ryan: I thought you said I have one more.
Matt: You can see their souls leave their bodies
when you kill them. Just like Pikmin.
*Holy choir singing fairwell to their lost soldier* Ryan, get that accuracy up man! Stop f*ckin around! Ryan: I’m tryin’ to- God
dammit. Ok. *Sexual Ryan moan*
Matt: Ok, ok.
*Matt sigh of release-I mean relief* Ryan: Is this all this is now? Matt: I think that’s just what this mode is.
Ryan: This is just mini-games, right? Matt: Yeah I think so.
Ryan: They’re just like little challenge mode I have to… Matt: It’s just shootin’! Ryan: Is this…just gonna happen until I die?
Matt: Yeah looks like it. Matt: You just uh, you wanna do somethin’ else?
Ryan: Yeah. Ryan: Ok, freeplay!
Matt: Freeplay! Matt: Woah…these are all the bosses! Jackal…Raven, she- she’s hot dude. Ryan: Which one should I choose?
Matt: Raven, she’s hot! That is so Raven! A future I can see.
Ryan: I like the lights out thing Matt: Let’s try it! Ryan: This one’s a nice lil’ weapon. Matt: Let’s do it! Matt *To the robot*
sorry to cut you off there, Hal. *Ryan giggles*
It totally looks like Hal! Woah…Ryan, take it easy dude! Ryan: They’re gettin closer-
*Girly Ryan screech*
Matt: You’re out of ammo, reload! Ryan: Jesus Christ Matt: You know if Jesus, back in Jesus’s time
if like, Jesus and the disciples had Nerf guns. You know they would just like,
spend hours out in the fields just like shootin each other With Nerf guns.
Ryan: Can that be- can someone with extreme artistic talent draw Jesus with a Nerf gun?
Matt: Or someone with extreme autistic talent? When I was a kid, I used to take the blue
tips off of Nerf bullets and then I would Stick a tack inside, and then if you shoot it it’ll
stick into the wall. Matt: Really?
Ryan: Yeah, if you shoot a Nerf bullet with a Tack inside of it it’ll stick into the wall. Matt: Ok that’s actually pretty cool. God, I wish…
I wish Nerf guns were cooler. to play with at 20 years old. Ryan: Lemme tell you, ok
I used to play AirSoft more then Nerf Matt: AirSoft looked more like
A sport, Nerf isn’t. Ryan: I didn’t play it like a sport
I played it like…for example when I first moved into one of my neighborhoods growing up
me and my stepbrothers we would go out and since we were the first house
actually built in the neighborhood So all the other ones were under
construction, so we’d go and in under construction houses, framed and everything
and people would go in there and have time to hide and then we’d have…others,
it was like a cop’s-n-robbers situation Matt: Oh that’s fun
I did it in the woods one time with some guy and he shot me, and the first time
I got shot with an airsoft bullet I was like “I’m done, I’m done!!” Ryan: It hurts!
Matt: It hurts really bad, I didn’t think it would hurt. dude, ya wanna try some
multi player? Ryan: Yes.
Matt: Ok let’s see, click to main menu… oh wait, the Wii remote’s out of
batteries… Ryan: Oh no, it is out of batteries!
We don’t have anymore batteries. Matt: This is a fun game! Your mom posted a picture of you as an alter boy
Ryan: She did? *Funky music starts playin*
Matt: To all those priests out there, Ryan is a 7
year old Alter Boy ready for some fun! *Random dude*
It’s Nerf, or Nothing!